| | I have a hard time with Christian community, a love-hate relationship with it, you might say. It may please the heart of Christ to see brothers and sisters fellowshipping harmoniously, but it rends mine with anxiety. Thoughts that there won't be room at the inn for me, that I somehow won't measure up, that I might be quietly tolerated but never included, memories of when just that has happened; such things like that.
I'm not sure why I paused Flash Forward long enough to write this, but I got the urge to get it out - and followed it. But don't be mistaken; this isn't being written while ridden with anxiety, it's more hopeful than it sounds.
I've returned from Vermont (whenever I hear of New York's irreligiousness, I think back to my seven months in Burlington, and take it with a grain of salt), left Redeemer for good (not having a flashy job, relative affluence, and extensive knowledge of CS Lewis put one hell of a damper on my social life), started going to a new church, and have begun volunteering.
So far so good with the new church; relationships seem to run deeper, and there's more of a priority on people sharing their lives with each other and actually practicing what we preach. But I still wonder, somewhere in the basement of my thinking, whether or not this applies to me as well, or if I'll be run off on a rail once I start to take some hesitant steps forward. Who knows? God willing, it will apply to me as well.
And yes, I'm pursuing volunteer activities. After an interesting interview at an East Village theater yesterday, I brainstormed a few criteria for finding the best-suited kinds of things, as I like to call them, the Five Wills:
1. Will this give me a chance to practice my existing skills and acquire new ones?
2. Will this introduce me to new and interesting things?
3. Will I work with my peers? (people around my age - it's no fun being the youngest one there)
4. Will I meet new people, and build relationships as I go?
5. Will this look good on my resume?
That's what I'm up to these days. Back to Flash Forward.
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| | Posted 10/25/2009 10:25 PM - 3 Views - 2 eProps - 2 comments
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